I Don't Know Anymore

The idea that makes you uncomfortable.
The knowledge that someone might be
What you'd hope they'd never be.
My chest feels heavy
My head aches
My entire being feels disgusted and
Exposed.
I can't do this anymore.
I need out.
I need to get away, and hope that my
Life will turn out for the better.

I Will Follow

Waning is my ability to wait

even at my young age

though selfish as it may sound.

My heart has ached many times

over trivial things I cannot even 

call love.

These few passing moments 

of young foolishness have

all ended in troublesome pain,

aches that could have

 just as well been avoided.

 

My Love, my Love, my first Love!

How I have forsaken You!

I throw myself away from You,

always searching for devotion elsewhere.

Yet You still away my return,

arms outstretched wide,

embracing me in my most tender of moments.

Healing my wounds  slowly as each hour 

slowly ticks by.

If only, if only I could stop myself

from being so greedy, 

so desperate for companionship.

I look upon those around me, 

and a twinge of envy grows slowly inside.

I long for what they have,

I crave what they feel.

Yet You have said it is not my time.

So, I shall wait patiently

as I let You lead the way. 

I will follow .

What the World Has Started

Money, sex, power, love, friends, attraction, beauty, that's what this whole world revolves around now. Everyday that's all I see, and the only way to get it is by manipulation in some form. You want money? Use sex. You want love, attraction, friends? Be beautiful. You want power? Cut others down to get there. Everyone has the morals wired into their brains that manipulation like that is wrong, but it's done anyway. Backstabbing, lying, cheating, stealing, we all do it. Every. Single. One of us. 

   

Describe Your Mother in One Word

  If I had to describe my mother in one word, it would be: Breathtaking. 

This word still does not do her justice, but it's the best one I could find that describes her beauty, power, peacefulness, patience, kindness, diligence, amazing talents, loveliness, humbleness, intelligence, hopefulness, and many other traits. 

  I know there are times where I want to scream and tell at her; to let out all my frustrations at her, to show my anger about something at her. But, if I did that, she would prove to me why it would be wrong to do. She'd show in the most motherly way why she does what she does, even if it makes me upset sometimes. I'd be shown why she was made a mother, and why I am the way I am, because of her. 

  If it wasn't for her, I wouldn't be the person I am now. She does everything in her power to open my eyes to how special I am, but I always close them because I don't want to believe her. 

  She loves me unconditionally, and nothing I do will ever be enough to show how grateful I am for that. 

Rain Sound

No harp or horn

Nor brass or string, 

Can ever out beat the

Sound of rain

Flowers For Kristine

She makes herself a cradle by the oceans gentle breeze. The dew and morning dove's song are her lights and symphony, and her audience is the sea. The memories hidden in a past life's tail, rest in these flowers for Kristine. 

Why Can't I Do it Right?

  I've tried wrapping my head around this, but I still can't seem to grasp it...why does everything have to be so hard...? I try taking a step forward and I'm pushed three steps back.  

  I just want to make you all happy...